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Devious Collection 9 by Fishgirl125




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May 14, 2011
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"Carl, there's a dead human in our house!"
My best friend-and roommate-Carl, was in the kitchen, doing the dishes, which was odd, because Carl never did the chores.
He shuffled over and poked the dead body with his foot.  "Oh...hey...how did he get here?" Blood was pooling on the floor, from multiple stab wounds in the dead man's chest.
His lying tone was obvious.  I stared at him, alarmed.  "Carl, what did you DO?!"
He waved a hand nonchalantly.  "Me?  I didn't do this."
"Explain what happened, Carl!" I said angrily.  These kinds of things seemed to happen whenever I went out...
"I've never seen him before in my life!" Carl protested.
"Why did you kill this person, Carl?!"
"I do not kill people.  That is..." he couldn't help glancing back towards the kitchen.  "That is my LEAST favorite thing to do."
I sighed.  "Carl, tell me exactly what you were doing before I got home."
He frowned and shifted uncomfortably.  "Alright.  Well, um, I was upstairs..."
"Yes..."
"I-I was sitting in my room..."
"Alright..."
"Reading a book..."
He paused, as if unsure to continue.  I waved a hand.  "Go on..."
"And then this guy walked in..."
There was a sinking feeling of dread in my chest.  "Okay..."
"So I went up to him..."
"Yes..."
"And I, uh...I stabbed him thirty-seven times in the chest!" Carl finished with a hopeful smile.
There was silence.  Finally, I said in a hushed tone, "Carl, that kills people!"
He blinked.  "Oh.  I didn't know that."
"How did you not know that?!" I demanded furiously.
His face fell.  "Yeah, I'm in the wrong here.  I suck..."
I realized something else with a start.  "What happened to his hands?!" I stared in horror at the handless corpse.
"What's that?" Carl looked up.
"His hands.  Why are they missing?"
"Well..." Carl pointed to the kitchen.  "I kinda cooked them up.  And ate them."
Well, that explained the dishes.  "...Carl!"
He shrugged apologetically.  "Well, I was hungry, and you know, when you crave hands-"
"Why on earth would you do that, Carl?" I interrupted.
"I was hungry for hands, give me a break!"
"Carl..."
Carl grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at me.  "My stomach was making the rumblies-"
"Carl!"
"-that only hands would satisfy!"
"What is WRONG with you, Carl?" I asked, horrified.  Why did I have to have a cannibalistic roommate?
He frowned and counted on his fingers.  "Well, I kill people...and I eat hands."  He held up two fingers.  "That's two things!"
Just something that popped into my head one day (the descriptions of what Carl and Paul would be doing...) Interestingly enough this adaption turns Carl into a cannibal...
This original idea IS NOT MINE! This is just based off the video by FilmCow (Jason Steele) called Llamas with Hats. ([link]) If you haven't watched them, you should! There's four episodes.

Find Llamas with Hats 2 Human Adapted 2: [link]

Disclaimer: I do not own FilmCow or Llamas with Hats.
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:iconblondetardis26:
BLONDETARDIS26 Featured By Owner 13 hours ago
Dang u Carl!
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:iconponie08:
ponie08 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
ROFL
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:iconexterminatorexploder:
ExterminatorExploder Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Question: How did you upload it without having to choose a separate file? If you do choose a separate file it completely replaces it with that file. Ughh sorry I just joined here this week xD
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:iconsk8ergirl519:
sk8ergirl519 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
oh jeez. Um. I haven't posted anything on here in ages. I think normally what I do is copy paste into the "upload text" section OTL

ACK I'M SORRY I'M USELESS //sob
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:iconexterminatorexploder:
ExterminatorExploder Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aww no your not :D. I'll try that and see if I can get it up :)
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:iconexterminatorexploder:
ExterminatorExploder Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yaay! Okay, got it up. Thank You Much!!!
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:iconexterminatorexploder:
ExterminatorExploder Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is just awesome. I actually wrote one myself for the 2nd one... which ever the one about the cruise ship is xD. I planned on putting it up after I edited it a little, did some touch-ups.
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:iconsk8ergirl519:
sk8ergirl519 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
XD One in which Carl is still a cannibal?

lol, I think I did these for the first, second and third one, but I have no idea if I ever remembered to post OTL

YOU SHOULD POST YOURS TOO. WE CAN SPAM DA WITH LLAMAS YAAAAAAAAAAAAY
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:iconexterminatorexploder:
ExterminatorExploder Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yaaaaaay! I'll upload it tomorrow :D
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:iconexterminatorexploder:
ExterminatorExploder Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, forget it, I'll upload it now. It's done editting anyway, I just read through it. YAAAAY LLAMAS WITH HATS!
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